General Information

Bi Polar Disorder

Bi Polar Disorder (Part 1 of a 6 part series)

I have decided to dedicate the next week’s entries to Bi-Polar Disorders because I work with a number of people who have BPD. (Bi Polar Disorder). BPD has very negative effects on a relationship. There are no total cures but there are ways to effectively manage BPD and the next blogs will give you an idea of what can be done to help both the individual and the relationship survive this difficult situation.

Note:
As I get response from the couples that I am working with and from my blog, I will consider writing a manual for people with BPD and their partners, so please contact me with your reaction to my entries.

Here is a list of what each blog will cover:
Blog # 1 – I will give a straight forward definition of BPD.

Blog # 2 – Will be focused on the partner of the person

Blog # 3 – Bi Polar Disorder – Triggers and Addiction

Blog #4 – Bi Polar- for the person with BPD

Blog #5  – Becoming an expert about your own triggers

Blog #6 – Working as a Team – with meaningful others

Recovery from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

 

Recovery from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

If you look up treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder there are 6 treatment methods that are recommended.

1)  Hypnosis

2)  EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprogramming)

3)  EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)

4) Energy Psychology

5) TFT (Thought Field Therapy)

6) CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

7) Traditional Psychotherapy (Long Term & Short Term)

Over the 30 years that I have been in practice I have studied and used all of these approaches.  I have found that different people and situations respond need different approaches.

Together we will figure out what approach(s) or combination of approaches will us the best chance of  bringing  relief the most quickly.  You can reach me directly at: (732)246-8484, If I am not immediately available you can also call my office manager Roberta (732)564-7722.  I often answer the phone myself and if I’m not available Roberta will know my schedule and either schedule an appointment for you or let you know my schedule s we can have an initial phone conversation.

Two wonderful books on PTSD

(1)

Click here to read  a review of a wonderful book on how one man survived PTSD    The book is called “Surviving in The Shadows   

(2)                                                                                                                                                             I have written blog entries on how a Iraq Veteran was able to heal from his    PTSD in an entry I call “A Wonderful Lesson In Relationships” (click here)

 

 

Looking forward to being of help,

Dr. Marty


 

 

 

 

Introduction to Addiction

Introduction to Addiction

I have dealt with addiction to: Alcohol, Drugs, (legal/illegal) Pornography, sexual, Gambling, or Overspending.

On this page you will find 3 short articles about addiction –  please scroll down and read the one(s) that apply to you:

* Why Is Addiction So Hard To Treat?

* To the Person Fighting Their Addiction

* To the Spouse or Parents of the Person Fighting Their Addiction

Why Is Addiction So Hard To Treat?

The problem with addiction is that it works so well for people (at least in the short run), which
makes treatment difficult. Gambling works for the gambler, drinking works for the
alcoholic, drugs work for the drug addict.

Sure we know better, but that truth is not apparent to the addict. Treatment is fighting
an up hill battle against a quick and easy way to deal with anxiety, depression and
isolation. If that weren’t a difficult enough challenge, hereditary and brain chemistry
also kick in, as well as social

To the Person Fighting Their Addiction

A Note to The Person Struggling with The Addiction

Do you really believe that:
*You will loose important people in your life if you don’t beat your addiction

* Unless you do beat your addiction you will face financial ruin?

If your answer is yes to these questions, then you are ready for us to work together.

However, having said that, if you are addicted, you need
more than will power. To “beat your addiction” you
need new strategies and tools. This strategy must
develop a practical plan to combat your addiction. The
plan must include new understandings and new
techniques as needed.

To the Spouse or Parents of the Person Fighting Their Addiction

Most of the referrals I get are triggered by spouses or parents of people who are struggling with their drinking and
addiction problems. The spouse’s and parents of the addicts I have worked with have strong mixed feelings; on
the one side, they are frightened for the addicts’ future and even their life and on the other side, they are
frustrated even angry at them Wives/husbands, girlfriends/boyfriends, or mothers/fathers of the addicts

I have counseled feel desperate and overwhelmed and don’t
know what to do for their loved one. This is unfortunately quite common and you shouldn’t feel that you need to go it alone or
suffer in silence. What is the next step?

The next step is to give me a call: (732)246-8484 and we can discuss the best way to get help.  Together we can things one step at time

Talk to you soon,

Dr.  Marty      

 

Three Stages to Dealing With Addiction

Stage I – Understanding Your Addiction

I will help you, the person who is exploring their addiction, to be able to learn how to question and understand what is going on emotionally. Often times, addictive behavior is a reaction to stress, anxiety, hopelessness or even depression. It can also be a way of escaping difficult situations such as financial problems, a bad relationship, or trouble at work.

Stage II – Treatment of Addiction

Together we will approach the addiction on two levels:

I. Breaking the Habit – One of the problems is that taking drugs, drinking, pornography, gambling etc., is a habit we adapted to get us through our daily lives, and so we need counseling that can teach us practical strategies to help us get past these bad habits.

II. Escaping Depression and or Anxiety – One reason people think they engage in their addiction is to “relax” because they feel over stressed, angry, depressed, anxious or all of the above. In counseling you will learn ways of handling the issues we have discussed in Stage I “Understanding Your Addictions”.

We will do our counseling either individually, as a couple or a combination with both approaches. Together we will determine which will be the most effective in your particular situation.

Stage III – Practice and Re-enforcement

In this stage you will see how well you are able to put into practice insights and strategies’ you have learned from our treatment phase (Stage II).

We will also re-enforce what needs to be done to either catch “slips before they happen” or handle any set backs that may occur and preventing you from going forward.

A Note to the Person Struggling with the Addiction

Do you really believe that:

  • You will loose important people in your life if you don’t beat your addiction?
  • You will face financial ruins unless you beat your addictions?

If your answer is yes to both of these questions, then you are ready for us to work together.

However, having said that, if you are addicted, you need more than will power. To “beat your addiction” you need new strategies and tools, and you also have to develop a practical plan to be able to combat your addiction that would involve additional techniques.

Below are the approaches we can use to recover from addiction:

1)  Hypnosis

2)  EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprogramming)

3)  EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)

4) Energy Psychology

5) TFT (Thought Field Therapy)

6) CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

7) Traditional Psychotherapy (Long Term & Short Term)

Over the 30 years that I have been in practice I have studied and used all of these approaches.  I have found that different people and situations respond need different approaches.

To learn more about what is involved in treatment go to: “Three Steps to Dealing With Addiction”

 

To the Spouse or Parents of the Person Fighting Their Addiction

Most of the referrals I get are triggered by spouses or parents of people who are struggling with some addiction problems. The spouse’s and parents of the addicts I have worked with have strong and mixed feelings; on the one side, they are frightened for the addicts’ future and even their life and on the other side, they are frustrated and angry at their wives/husbands girlfriends/boyfriends, or mothers/fathers of the addicts. They feel desperate and overwhelmed and don’t know what to do for their loved ones and this puts them in a very difficult place. This is unfortunately, quite common to feel this way and you shouldn’t feel that you need to do it alone or suffer in silence. What is the next step?

The next step is getting treatment.

To learn more about what is involved in treatment go to: “Three Stages to Dealing with Addiction”

 

Emotional reasons why we have trouble sleeping

There are many emotional causes for not being able to sleep. Being stressed / have racing thoughts/ problems or

worries on your mind or are depressed or suffering from panic disorders can all contribute to not being able to

sleep.

Having had problems with sleeping myself and having over 60% of my clients reporting sleep problems I decided

to focus on helping people deal with this issue

What we can do about dealing with your sleep problems.

When I work with someone who is having trouble sleeping I use a variety of different approaches:

1. Relaxation

2. Self hypnosis

3. Hypnosis

4. EFT

5. Problem solving

6. Dealing with emotional issues such as stress, anxiety, depression

7.Teaching people about natural remedies and resources they can use (this is all done with the understanding

that people

8. Teach people the best things they can do while they are learning how to get the best night’s

sleep if they can’t fall asleep or they do wake up prematurely

This process usually takes between 2 and 4 sessions. This may vary for different individuals –

but we should know between our first and second session if we are making progress.

 

Incest

Guilt, rage, self-doubt, depression are feelings that are the hallmark of someone who has suffered from the abuse of incest. In my therapy practice, I have found survivors of incest to be suffering from difficulties in their relationships. They may have trouble expressing themselves. On the other end of the spectrum, they may be too intense. They may, have eating difficulties. They may have sleep problems such as trouble falling asleep, waking up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning. They may be plagued by nightmares.

I am going to suggest four things that survivors can do to begin to deal with some problems that are generated from incest and abuse.

Find a support group. Your local hospital or mental health center may have helpful information.

Read material about incest. “Just before Dawn” by Jan Hindman is a wonderful place to start.

Trust your perception. There has been a great deal written about False Memory Syndrome. There is an ongoing debate among professionals. My belief is: “”Let the professionals argue.” If you are a victim of incest, treat your memories “as if” they are real. I am not making a judgment of the accuracy of your perceptions; I am saying your perceptions affect your view of your life’s realities. Take a closer look at what those memories mean to you. As a starting point, accept that you experienced something and that experience had a profound traumatic effect on you.

Develop a safe place in your mind. Think of a time when you felt safe. If you can’t remember a time when you felt safe, create a situation. Describe it in as much detail as possible.

How old would you be?

What would you be wearing?

What does the place look like?

What protections would it have?

Who would be there?

What would the place feel like?

How would you physically feel?

What would the temperature be?

Would there be a fragrance?

Repeat this exercise several times. You can elaborate on the original place or create other ones. This exercise is not designed to “cure” you. It is designed to give you a little peace of mind and a temporary alternative to the difficulties that plague you every day of your life. More complete and lasting answers will come through therapy.

Effective therapy is both behavioral and must deal with the unconscious. I have found that a combination of Focused Self-Hypnosis, (a method that I have developed for incest), Thought Field Therapy (TFT), & Neurolinguist Programming (NLP) to be wonderfully effective. An effective approach must go beyond logical rational therapy and go into unconscious and preconscious levels. Dealing with incest is a difficult task, but there are approaches that can help survivors go beyond and into the light of healing.

The tasks of therapy for the survivor:

Learn to trust yourself and your perceptions.

Developing the ability of knowing when to and when not to trust others, their caring and insights.

Exorcising the demons of fury, self-hate and depression.

The work is possible, but it takes effort and commitment. Doesn’t anything that is worthwhile?

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

ANXIETY

ANXIETY

Can you put in to simple language exactly what anxiety is?

People struggle for years with issues. They are embarrassed or they think that
there are no answers, or that there isn’t anyone or anything that can change
the way things are. I was surprised to find out that the average time that
someone struggles with a problem before going for help is 8 years

Let’s talk about these feelings.

Often times people talk about feeling anxious depressed, or obsessing. I want
to give you a “common sense” plain English definition of these feelings. Being
able to identify where we are emotionally is an important step towards dealing
with the discomfort that you are experiencing.

Have you ever felt:

jumpy
restless
your mind won’t stop
hard to sit still
just nervous
heart beating like it’s going to jump out of your chest (after the possibility of
physical problem has been eliminated)
no matter what you do you want to jump out of your skin

That’s what psychologists call anxiety.

Learn more about a special new approach that Dr. Marty

 

Does My Child Need Counseling?

Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world. I am a parent. I am also a family therapist who has counseled parents for over twenty eight years. I realize the significance of the title of mother or father. When taken seriously, the role of parents takes more energy and commitment than anything else I can think of. Being concerned about our children, we are always on the look out for any problems that our children may have. We want to find the balance between seeing every issue as an indication of disturbance, and ignoring the danger signals, in the hope that the youngster will “grow out of it.”

Let’s take a look at a hypothetical situation and ask some questions. Ronald is eleven years old and evidences angry behavior. He hits his younger sister and gives her a hard time. We already have the first bit of important information, Ronald’s age. Although they are not absolute measures, there are guild lines and age ranges for development and age appropriate behavior. The next question I would ask, if Ronald were referred to me for treatment is “How long has this behavior been evidenced?” Children naturally go through phases. One day’s problem is the next day’s ancient history.

The next question is “How is Ronald functioning in the following areas?”:

With his parents?

In school?

With his peers?

Independently?

Has anything unusual or significant occurred recently (i.e. a birth, a marriage, a death, etc.)? The key to evaluation is intensity and duration. That is, how dramatic is any behavior or personality shift, and how long have the changes been present?

Based on these preliminary questions, there are usually three possibilities:

Treatment is not indicated at this time. This might be the answer if the problems are not particularly dramatic, but just mildly annoying. The behavior seems to be age-appropriate and just a normal part of growing up.

Therapy is indicated. A combination of individual treatment for the child, and individual counseling for the parent is warranted. Rarely do I recommend that the child be seen exclusively. Effective treatment occurs when the child’s specific conflicts are dealt with and the additional resources of the parent are also enlisted.

This involves the education of the parent in “parent management” skills. I advise this psycho-educational process when emotionally charged issued can be resolved by teaching the parent alternative coping skills for effectively handling various situations and areas of communication.

To properly assess the need for, and type of treatment, the therapist must begin by meeting with the parent and evaluating the youngster. Therapy is, in the final analysis, as much an art as it is a science. There are no absolute answers or guidelines. Therapy must be an individualized process.

What I have suggested is a general perspective and perhaps food for thought. Being interested in your child is an important factor in his/her development. Always ask the question and care. Listen to the answers and you have a running start.

Good Luck!!